An Innocuous Blog TM

"WHEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!"              Joachim screamed at me from my friend's buzzing phone. It was early morning, too early for me to understand what was being sung in my left ear. Honestly, you'd think I'd know what was startling me from sleep considering this was the second time it had happened after staying the night at my friend's apartment. All I knew it was his alarm, it was music, it was loud, and I fucking loved it. For the second time, I asked him over breakfast; him coffee, bacon, spinach soaked in bacon grease, and a nauseating dollop of peanut butter. Fucking keto diets. Me, tea, and literally anything else but that nasty keto "meal" I was watching him scarf.                          "What's that song you've got your alarm set to?"                    ...

Hello and welcome to the first of (what I hope will become) a series called Ayla Answers. The girlfriend experience is a nebulous concept that seems to have sprung up from those seeking something something different to its sister, the porn star experience. PSE and GFE, respectively, are essentially different styles of dates and experiences that vary depending on the limits or restrictions of the worker offering them. Typically, the porn star experience is centered around having sex in myriad positions with endless energy that frankly I'm terribly impressed by. Sometimes PSE includes anal along with multiple positions, but the thing that seems to define the PSE is the classic explosive finish all over the worker's face and/or tits at the end. I say typically and everything, please keep in mind that in this industry YMMV is the name of the game here and you have to shop around to find what you're looking for and be willing to pay for it. Now, enough about the PSE, GFE's o...

I have a thing for long titles. I'm pretty sure that's from my love of bands like Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, Cobra Starship, Paramore... you get it. Anyways, I cannot in good conscience begin this introduction to the blog series I'm going to be doing without showing you the title properly formatted, so here you are: From the Winged Hussars scaring me awake, to Sabaton Open Air: My Journey as a Sabaton fan The Introduction I once said in high school that I should have my poetic license revoked for using such flowery language. Unfortunately for you all, no such thing has occurred and I remain as flowery as my aunt's old acreage, Kickass Ranch. This is going to be a blog series of three parts? Maybe four? Think of it like Eragon. It was supposed to be a trilogy as initially imagined by Christopher Paolini, but it eventually turned into a saga as one part had to be split into two. I don't think this will be quite so dramatic about it, if it goes that way. The pl...

Great googly moogly, it's all gone to shit! Gah. How to start.  The most logical place is at the beginning I suppose, but it's much more fun to drop you straight into the action. I'm in a bra and panties, draped on the shining black bench of a baby grand piano. The black bra with red lace that I love so much accentuates my curves perfectly (I mean, it is a push-up bra, if it didn't help with aesthetics, I'd return the damn thing). My thighs are slightly apart, back arched, head tipped back, my hair cascading down my back... and 1 angry guy at the door.  "This is a family-friendly environment!"  Right... at 2pm on a Friday, while the cheeldrens are still in school, with the main window covered and a secondary window that's hidden from major lookage not covered but not exactly super visible,  barely anyone there, no kids in sight, sure it is. Whoops, I guess. I'm at the VSO's school of music. To be honest with you, I'm still feeling a littl...

  Fly Me To Yous- A dream come true for both parties!                I love the idea of being whisked off to another country by someone. It's so romantic, and while the dream is normally an impulsive weekend getaway, I must admit I'm a sucker for planning trips and the anticipation. It's a worthwhile stress, planning a trip. If you're like me, you spend hours looking at different hotels, weighing pros and cons for each one like "This one is far from *insert interesting spot here* but it's cheaper, is that worth it?" or "Ooo but this one has breakfast cooked to order for NO SURCHARGE" <-- that one there is a dream, not a reality. I've never seen this but if you find me such a hotel... I will be very appreciative. And for a client, potential date, whatever you'd like to be called, I'm sure it's a fantastic experience! Finding someone you'd love to spend time with, and making it happen despite distance? Or making the trip of a...